No,  That is not a picture of me, but I have often felt like that guy looks over the decades of my studies and search for Truth.

I am a 61 year old Aerospace engineer who grew up as a relatively devout Christian within one of the more fundamentalist denominations. The Bible was - and still is - considered the absolute final word in all matters; therefore, a deep respect and love of the Holy Bible was instilled in me from childhood, as was a strong trait of independence due to where and how my childhood evolved. Though my current beliefs differ radically from those I held earlier in life, the view that the Bible settles all disputes related to truth has guided me and actually is the reason why my beliefs have deviated so drastically from those earlier periods of my life.

Fast forward to the 1990s.

I was in my early 30s and had gone through a time in which I participated in a lifestyle for which I felt shame and regret. I, therefore, realized I needed to undertake sincere repentance. A first step was to read the Bible cover to cover for the first time.  

Some clarification is necessary.

Contrary to what some people may think, very few Christians ever read the entire Bible. I had read the New Testament numerous times, and most Christians never even do that. Ignorance of the Bible plagues Christianity and is a disgraceful, often unspoken fact. Christians, despite their possible denials, know this to be the case. I discuss why Christians are actually Christians within the site and will not do so now. Suffice it to say that only a tiny fraction of Christians become Christians due to unbiased study while seeking spiritual truth. Most marry into it, are raised in it, are attracted to the easy "salvation" it alleges to be true, or for some other reason select it because of worldly desires. Once in it, various psychological and physical incentives prevent a Christian from undertaking any legitimate and sincere study to discover if their beliefs are truly Biblical. But then, the same can be said for any religion, including Judaism.

I decided to find out if I was practicing a correct Biblical faith; however, my true desire as I began my journey of repentance was to become a better Christian. It never entered my mind as I began reading from Genesis 1:1 to change or even question what I already believed. But God had other ideas.

I set strict parameters by which I absolutely intended to abide. The primary parameters were that I wanted God to remove all bias, open my eyes to truth, show me that truth, and use me to His Glory. It was an extremely intense spiritual time in my life which I will not detail in order to reduce the length of this writing. I prayed, begged, pleaded, etc. for God to teach me from His Word. He answered my prayers, but not as I expected or imagined. The phrase, "Be careful what you ask for. You just might receive it." rings true.

Amazingly, before I had even completed the second book of the Bible, Exodus, I realized that I had been taught error my entire life and that Christianity was severely flawed. I knew quite soon into my repentance Journey that Christianity as a whole deviates drastically from basic Bible teaching and, instead, advances fundamental dogmas that differ in elementary and far-reaching ways from what the Bible actually reveals. Needless to say I was shocked, disturbed, and unsure of what to do. So I persevered in studies with enhanced tenacity while expanding my field of research.

It really is easy to discover that Christianity is flawed. All it takes is what I did - an unbiased reading of the Bible starting with Genesis and, as a guiding premise, that whatever God says in Scripture is the final word that nothing and no one can overrule. Sadly, either because of the inability to remove bias or because they never undertake the study or because they simply do not care, few Christians ever break free of Christianity's extreme error.

Fast forward again (I'm leaving out a lot of spiritual milestones) ...

Throughout the 1990s and into the early 2000s I ventured into and through various faith systems within the Christianity category of religion. By then I had moved well beyond simple repentance and became obsessed with finding truth, scrutinizing all teachings of each group of which I was temporarily a part and determined to not allow anything deter me from applying truth to my life as it was discovered. In addition, I became a detective of history, specifically Christian, Bible, and increasingly Jewish history. Ignorance of history is a major reason for Biblical ignorance since without the proper historic and cultural context Scripture is easily misinterpreted.

My engineering mindset served me well during my studies. Engineers, if they are good engineers, are very precise and analytical in their search for answers. Assumptions, if made, must be based upon certainty or very high probability. "Feelings" (the friend of "bias" and enemy of truth) are avoided completely since they corrupt clear thinking and drive a person to incorrect conclusions. Unfortunately, "feelings" are difficult for most people to overcome. EVERYTHING is analyzed, checked, tested, verified, checked again, reviewed, etc., etc.

This is certainly true for the Aerospace sciences since a plane or rocket falling out of the sky from miles of altitude or space does not produce a good day for anyone with the misfortune of being a passenger. Neither does a missile if the intended target is missed and damage is caused elsewhere. And a satellite with an improper orbit is basically space junk and a threat to other objects as well as people on earth.

Therefore, it is no understatement to say that I was and am bordering on eccentric with respect to how deeply I investigate and examine material as I pursue ultimate Truth. I am sure some folks would say I've long since passed over the border of eccentric and have my home there.

Bias finds no rest in my mind even though those who disagree with me likely think otherwise. There are definite and verified reasons for everything I believe. If I am unsure about something, I admit my uncertainty, but the more I study the less uncertainty exists. However, the awareness of what there is to learn strangely multiplies exponentially. The more you learn, the more you realize there is to learn.

It was 2001 when I first published a rather feeble and unprofessional "Torah of Messiah" website. By that time I had become absolutely 100% convinced that "Jesus" was NOT "God in the flesh", and that issue was the primary motivation for the original site. It, too, came from a simple unbiased reading of the Bible, including the New Testament. In fact, the New Testament alone proves the "God in the flesh" idolatry to be false, but sadly many Christians are so utterly biased or incapable of comprehending that they remain blind to the truth.

Fast forward one last time ...

My studies gravitated more and more towards the study of Torah, Judaism and its history, Hebraic culture, and an intense search to uncover the faith of the original followers of Yeshua (yes, I long ago discovered "Jesus" was not the real name for Messiah). Over the years I amassed a library that would be the pride of some synagogues.

Eventually, I realized that Christianity's anti-Torah foundational doctrine removed any and all value of "Christian" literature. Therefore, I abandoned such ultra-biased and ultra-erroneous material years ago. It doesn't even come close to representing the actual beliefs and faith practices of the original followers of Yeshua. In fact, it directly opposes them! I discuss this on the site.

My focus, therefore, arrived at Judaism since Yeshua and his original followers actually practiced a faith that was a legitimate sect of Judaism. I call it "Yeshua Judaism" and define the term on the site. If a person listed the various beliefs of Judaism, they would generally parallel the beliefs of and in Yeshua.

HOWEVER, the few differences that exists are profound, important, and so divisive that compromise with rabbinic Judaism is impossible. Indeed, from the very early centuries, even among Yeshua's initial followers, fierce enmity did and still does exist between Yeshua Judaism and rabbinic Judaism. Sadly, far too many alleged (hypocrites, in my opinion) followers of Yeshua ignore or have long forgotten that or prefer to snuggle-up close to the rabbinic Judaism enemies of Yeshua. I don't and won't ingratiate myself to Yeshua's most ferocious detractors.

Since focus within that latter sphere of study began after first publishing the website and has intensified over the last 10 to 15 years, most of the truths I have learned have yet to be included in the site. That is in part due to the fact that I take the task of sharing opinions very seriously and do not share what I have not yet proven to myself to be truth. But since I have now studied enough to establish some of those truths, that is now changing, and this current edition of the site includes such material with my intention to produce more as time and God allows.

The studies and search for Truth continue ...